You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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