Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
you're hired as official boob wrangler
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
