everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
