why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
