Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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