he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
