Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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