i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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