There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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