In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
