remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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