And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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