I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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