Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
