i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
