Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
