She's JV to your varsity
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
