After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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