Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
