Just invented taco cereal.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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