Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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