plz talk dirty to me
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
