Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
