maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
