We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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