If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
