I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
