4 words: hood of his car
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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