VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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