omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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