Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
