Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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