giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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