Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize