I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
