He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
