you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My life is pants optional.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
