This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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