Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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