I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
