who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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