jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
