I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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