I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Sext me about skeletons
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
