i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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