Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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