I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
