my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
