Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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