Can Purell be used as lube?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
