Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
