the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
