C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
